They Revoked My Hunting License!

The Division of Fish & Wildlife only allows well-behaved persons to go around shooting and killing. Go figure.

by Cathy McCartney

Not long after letting the cub out of the trap, I received a letter from the Division of Fish & Wildlife. I took a knife and delicately sliced open the envelope, thinking, ‘this one’s gonna be a keeper’.

And I was right. What I read made me laugh out loud. They were writing to let me know they revoked my hunting license.

You see, a couple of years earlier, I got a hunting license — because when the hunt was taking place on state land, some of us would go into the woods to “hike”. Today, I no longer subscribe to this, unless there’s a concrete plan. But that’s for another post.

When we did go into the woods, I can’t say we were trying to stop the trophy hunters from doing their dirty work. That would be hunter harassment, which is illegal ;) All I will say, is that the hunters didn’t want us around. So if a hunter thought you looked at him funny, he’d just call his ranger friend and have you charged. And we know this because once a ranger came down the trail to tell us that we were looking at a hunter. And if we did it again, we’d all be charged with hunter harassment. 

So along with a friend, we decided that legally, we would become hunters. 

So along with a friend, we decided that legally,
we would become hunters. 

The next day, I called the DFW training office. The person on the other end cheerfully answered my newbie questions, saying more than once, “We want you to succeed.” She should have added, “because hunting is a dying pastime and we want to keep our jobs.” But that’s beside the point.

I could overhear some guys talking about
“those crazy bear ladies in the woods” while the instructor discussed how to follow a blood trail and the child hunter
asked twice if he could shoot horses.

So we studied their hunters education handbook, learned how to fire a real shotgun, and strove to “succeed.” My friend was really good with a gun. Not me. I was afraid I’d be that one person you hear about who trips and blows their head off. But I liked the bow. The bow was cool. And so in addition to the gun range, I trained at a local archery range…under a fake name, surrounded by hunters who would chat me up...and dead animals who I’d silently apologize to.

Three months later, I took the written test in a cold warehouse on some state gun range out in the middle of Nowhere, NJ — with 50 yahoos, one future child hunter, and my one girlfriend. We both aced it. From the back of the room, we could hear one of the instructors telling guys who finished the correct answers. This was possibly his way of helping new hunters succeed.

Then we went on to a field lecture that literally took place in a field. Shivering, I could overhear some guys talking about “those crazy bear ladies in the woods” while the instructor discussed how to follow a blood trail and the child hunter asked twice if he could shoot horses. Stephen King would eat this up.

When it came time for the shotgun field test, I put my name tag at the bottom of the pile of applicants, hoping to go last. But the instructor turned the pile upside down and called me first. I was nervous and forgot to turn the safety off. But then I hit the target on the ground. And through some miracle, I hit the clay pigeon in the air, too. The instructor loved me. How it would have broken his heart to know I was an animal rights activist.

And through some miracle, I hit the clay pigeon in the air.
The instructor loved me. How it would have broken his heart
to know I was an animal rights activist.

And then...I passed the archery field test! I could tell that the archery instructor also helped people “succeed.” We shot at only 15 yards, not 20. And he said that we didn’t need to hit the “kill” zone, as long as the arrows hits were closely grouped, and he demonstrated by touching his fingertips and thumbs together. With that kind of thinking, I guess it would be ok with the DFW to hit a deer 5 times in, say the knee...as long as the arrows were closely grouped? You know, the truth is, the “good” archers do the most woundings. The bad ones miss altogether.

In a twisted way, I was proud of my hunting license. It was good to learn about “the enemy” and I was surprised how much I liked archery. Sometimes I go to the more civilized ranges in the city, the ones without the taxidermy. Because as one of the target instructors told me, “Lady, this is New York City. We don’t do that here.” 

So what did I do to lose my license? I walked out of the designated “Free Speech” zone at the bear hunt protest (props to Bill Crain) and got charged with “Obstruction”. I sat down in front of a hunter’s truck so he couldn’t leave with his dead bear, and got charged with “Misuse of a Wildlife Management Area.” And I helped let that cub out of the trap. And got charged with “Interfering with the Legal Taking of Wildlife.” 

So, goodbye hunting license. I’ll miss you...but it wasn’t meant to be. Along with all my friends here, we just aren’t the ones that Fish & Wildlife wants to see “succeed.” But we already knew that. And that’s a good thing. Because I’m telling you, those crazy bear ladies are going to do just that...succeed.